Sinner or Saint: Are You Taking Time for Yourself?

Mothers typically think they are supposed to put the needs of their family before their own. Tending to other people first is a culturally accepted norm for women in our society. Anything short of this can be perceived as selfish, even sinful.

The truth of the matter is that you will be more “response-able” to the needs of your family by protecting the bit of space you need to refill. The only real alternative is to run out of energy and your ability to respond after being on call 24/7. It may take a while, but a crash will happen eventually unless you take positive action now.

If taking care of yourself seems foreign, think about this for a moment. You are a primary role model for your children’s lives. They will copy your actions more often than follow your advice. Many a mom has shed tears after becoming aware of the lack of self care they modeled during their children’s formative years. You love your children and want to do right by them. Therefore, you need to show them how to take care of themselves by taking care of you! This will increase their capacity to be healthy, well balanced adults.

While meditation can be extremely helpful, you don’t need to sit down and meditate to take 10 minutes for yourself. You can go for a short walk, just sit in a quiet spot inside, outside, or even in the car (while you’re not driving). Sometimes I actually have to lock myself in the bathroom for 10 minutes to get the time and space I need, but it is worth it.

If you are with your children 24/7, please consider creative ways to take an hour or so each week away from your family. The “Mommy Brain” is constantly on duty, even when we’re not next to our children, but a little distance can open up space in our minds and decompress our bodies in a very healing way. Oddly, having time away can open up our hearts to our loved ones and help us appreciate the most important people in our lives even more.

You may find unexpected benefits from following through with this self care technique. Certainly you will realize temporary benefits from having a few daily moments to breathe, but will be creating long term benefits as well. When your inner self begins to trust that you are going to continue taking time and space for yourself, your mood and even body image will improve. You are, in effect, saying that it is all right for you to be in the world! This will translate into healthier self-talk, wiser choices, and a more grace-filled, response-able presence as a partner, wife and mother.